Aunt Mary in Bartlesville
1997
A large sign hanging on ropes over the highway as we enter Bartlesville reads: "Centennial Celebration 1897-1997." Bartlesville and her citizens appear to be in a festive mood and are in the process of celebrating their centennial with special exhibits, special events, and parades. Vince Gill will perform in the local high school - 29,000 seat stadium - on September 20. It is amazing what this small city can accomplish with local initiative and Phillips Petroleum dollars. Our Aunt Mary Hunter wishes that we will extend our visit to take advantage of and join in on this celebration. We plan to leave in a couple of days - we will see....
Had considered obtaining a WebTV terminal for her to use to receive and send email, but there is no local phone number for web TV. Consequently when on-line, sending and receiving email or searching the internet, a long-distance phone charge must be paid. This would probably make WebTV prohibitively expensive and rule out the idea of WebTV for Aunt Mary. Adding this reason to the fact that Aunt Mary fundamentally does not want WebTV allows me to gracefully give up on the idea of adding Aunt Mary's name to our family email list. But the heck with it! If I can't get her stories and comments by email, I'll just come and visit with her more.
She was at the bottom of the stairs when we arrived. By swiveling her hip a certain way, she was able to lift her right foot onto the first step. Her right hand gripped the railing and would not let go instantly upon command. But, after a little physical and mental discussion with the hand, it released its tight grip and we got big hugs all around. As instructed by her therapist, she was practicing these step-climbing maneuvers. With a mischievous grin, she suggested that the "hip swiveling" might catch the eye of the men walking by. Her walker on wheels stood nearby for support if and when she needed it. Obviously, the stroke had no perceptible effect on her smile, and the sincerity of her pleasure and affection for us was reflected in her eyes. Actually, her whole face smiled. I was struck by the incongruity of the situation. Here was this amazing woman whose bodily "ears" could just barely hear the commands from her brain, but the brain still functions very well. Yes, it does not function quite as well as before the stroke. Like many of us, the words do not come as quickly as before. Although there is a slowness to remember things, places, and ideas, she does not wallow in self-pity. She keeps fighting until the word comes and continues her conversation. Her stories have a very clear introduction, body, and ending that characterize a still-functioning brain that is filled with the memories of a very active life. There is still a fire that burns in this lady. She knows that to maintain her independent life-style, she must maintain some mastery over her stroke-injured body, so she continues to fight for control.
Leading into her apartment, she wanted to show us her new electric recliner. A hand-held controller had an up-arrow and a down-arrow. The electric motor moaned in response to the down-button and the chair slowly lowered my body into the horizontal position. But the real value of the recliner was apparent upon pushing the up-button. The chair does not stop in the normal upright position; it keeps going till it almost forces you into a standing position. Thus, it serves as an aid to standing. Mary explained that the couch in her study was so low that after the stroke, it was difficult to lift her body out of it. David had fixed it by raising it several inches. Finding a location in her study for the new recliner was a problem. She wanted it to face the window so she could see the outside world - but the recliner did not fit. David again came to the rescue. A mirror from WalMart was placed on the wall away from the window so that even if she was facing away from the window, she could watch birds outside. She absolutely beams with motherly pride when telling us about how David takes time out from his very busy schedule to come to Bartlesville to help her solve these kind of problems.
After an afternoon of interesting conversation, we moved outside her apartment and watched the sun set over the pond. "Look!" she said, "a great blue heron!" The hummingbirds were quarreling over the feeder, crows were flying west and grackles flying east. A kid was watching his bobber, hoping to catch that monster bass or crappie in the pond below.
From 2 pm until after 8 pm, Aunt Mary had been animated and showed little evidence of tiring. I was amazed by her stamina. But, not wanting to tire her too much, we decided to leave. We made plans to take her car out for a ride to explore some lakes north of town on Friday. "You are not going to try to slip out of town are you?" she asked as we were leaving. I assured that we would definitely "slip out of town", but not tomorrow. "My car needs to be driven," she says.
"Been there, done that" is currently one of her favorite phrases. Coming from her mouth, the phrase is really believable. She has not only seen the world, but has lived in much of it. But, she said, "There is one country that Rex and I did not visit - can't remember which one it was." Trying to trigger her memory, I try China? "Nope!" Russia? "No, we enjoyed Russia." India? Pakistan? Kenya? Uruguay? Eritrea? Dubai? " No, but we did not visit the North or South Pole." Then I had a vision of Rex & Mary in a hotel room in Finland or somewhere with maps and bird books spread out all over the bed and desks, trying to figure out where the best birding will be or where to go next. Mary admits that she was the mover, shaker and motivator of most of their travels. Rex was happy to let Mary take the lead, but they both thoroughly enjoyed their travels. During their travels around the world, Rex & Mary kept lists of the birds they identified - the final count was about 1341 species - more than most Professional Ornithologists' ever get.
When I admit that I am somewhat allergic to hotels, motels, airlines and taxis, Mary proclaims "You are not a real traveller." Guess not! Compared to Rex and Mary, Pat and I are gross amateurs. Instead of traveling to Paris, Pat and I do well to visit Forest City, IA. Yes, we would like to visit Paris, but how do you get there in a motorhome?
Saturday morning, we gathered our bird books, binoculars, and peanut butter sandwiches, settled down in her Buick and started to visit some nearby lakes for some birding. Driving to the local post office to mail a letter, I noticed that the voltmeter was registering negative voltage. Suspecting that the alternator was malfunctioning, I suggested that we go in our car instead of hers. She was disappointed because her car stays in the shed too much and needs to be run. We were able to find a few of the local birds and enjoyed a very nice day of exploring the open, grassy hills of Osage, Co. She pointed out the RV parks on the lakes; we ate our lunch overlooking a lake and returned mid-afternoon before we were all totally exhausted.
Dining together on Saturday evening, a pained expression appeared on her face when I said that we would be leaving for Kansas in the morning. She had hoped that we would stay longer. Feeling a little guilty for spending only 2 days with her, we left on Sunday morning for a relaxed ride to Kansas. We will spend a few days with Aunt Hazel before we continue on our way to Forest City, IA where the Winnebago factory will repair the floor in our motorhome. I expect that we will receive a pained expression from her, too, in a few days when we announce that we are leaving.
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