Wyoming Telephones and Bears
February 4, 1998
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| Pat and Grand Tetons |
A sign posted in the Grand Teton Campground in Wyoming informed campers to be cautious when wandering around the campground in the dark because bears are present in the area. Having just seen a young Grizzly along a park trail during a day-hike, we found this advice believable. It was a chilly night and the only source of light were the few rays that escape through the curtains of neighboring RVs and an outside light that peeked through the forest from a toilet a couple hundred yards away. But our need was great. We had not checked our email in almost a week and there was a payphone adjacent to the toilet. Switching on a flashlight so that the bears could see me coming, I checked out the phone. What luck! There was no line of folks waiting to make calls -- only one lady was on the phone talking so loud that if there had been any bears in the park, she would surely have scared them away. On the other hand, if bears are attracted to human voices, they would surely eat her instead of me. I returned to Serendipity, watched some TV and again checked out the phone. As I stepped out the door, it was clear that the trip to the phone booth was unnecessary – I could hear the same lady still talking on the phone.
Thirty minutes later I checked again – the phone was now available. Slipping the bag containing the notebook computer on my shoulder and with a flashlight in hand, I moved quickly to the phone before someone else could beat me to it. It was a little colder than I had originally thought. The cold penetrated the light jacket more quickly than I had guessed. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and this will not take long,” I thought.
As luck would have it, the light in the phone booth was out. Consequently, it was necessary to use the flashlight to be able to see the dial on the phone. But the little metal shelf by the phone was angled too steeply to hold the flashlight so I placed it on the floor -- with the beam shining toward the ceiling. In the dim light, I found my acoustic coupler that is used to connect the pay phone to the computer. Grabbing the mouthpiece of the pay phone, I slammed it sharply against the wall a few times. According to the instruction manual for the acoustic coupler, this process loosens the carbon in the mouthpiece which improves communications between computer and telephone. The notebook computer was held with my left arm to keep it from sliding off the little metal shelf. I turned it on and Compuserve Information Manager appeared on the screen. With the other hand, I dialed the 800 number for Compuserve and heard the screeching sound of their modem as it tried to communicate with mine. But attaching the acoustic coupler to the phone mouthpiece requires two hands so I squatted down in the booth, balanced the notebook on my knees and attached the coupler to the mouthpiece. Some speed is necessary for this operation because the Compuserve modem will turn itself off if it does not hear my modem in a minute or so. I clicked on the dial icon on the computer and it automatically dialed the Compuserve number again. Not to worry! This is the method used to make connections before -- hopefully, it will work again tonight. No luck! So again I remove the coupler and redial. Upon hearing the modem sound I again strap the coupler to the mouthpiece and click the dial icon. Again no luck! Another strategy is needed. Maybe the sounds from my computer dialer can penetrate the apparent blockage in the phone system wiring. So, without first dialing manually, I let the computer dial. Again no connection! I try these two methods over and over a few times, then give up -- frustrated. The world will somehow have to live without my email tonight!
I was cold and my back hurt from standing in odd positions to hold up the computer and dial the phone without kicking over the flashlight on the floor. Other past attempts with similar results reinforced my frustration with this system Yes, sometimes successful connections have been made with this system, but maybe it is more trouble than it is worth. I vow to find a better solution to the problem of obtaining email “on the road.” I had previously tried to link to Compuserve by cellular phone and found it even more frustrating than the payphone coupler. Besides, local cell phone companies can charge almost any price they want when you are roaming so it can be very expensive. Out of Texas, the basic cost of long distance calls is $1.00 per minute plus any additional charges the local phone company wishes to tack on. Also, when in wild and remote locations -- which often are the most fun to visit -- there may be no cellular service.
Then I saw an ad for satellite phones in a motorhome magazine. This could really be the solution to my problem. I could probably reach the satellite from any place in the USA and the signal should be strong. So I phoned the satellite phone company and found out that the cost per minute was about $3.00 – my interest evaporated!
About the only satisfactory option remaining was to find RV parks which had overnight telephone hookups at each camping site or beg park managers for the use of their office phones. Many RV parks offer long-term phone hookups, but it is necessary to pay the phone company a hookup charge (somewhere in the range of $30 to $60) which is very expensive for an overnight stay. However, there are about 25 RV parks in the USA that provide overnight hookups for a low overnight fee of up to about $2.00 -- some cost nothing. We have the locations of these 25 RV parks marked on our national map and tend to orient to them as we travel. One of our favorites is Palm RV in Bakersfield, CA. They provide free overnight phone hookups. Of course, the phone hookup is also free for long-term visits. If you do not carry a telephone, they will rent one to you. In Texas, there are only a couple of parks with overnight phones -- Oregon is best with about four parks.
Usually, it is necessary to beg RV campground owners/operators to use the phone jacks in their offices. Their first response is often negative, but persistence pays off. It is helpful to explain that we will use an 800 number that will cost them nothing and that sending and receiving usually takes less than five minutes (unless someone decides to send several photos of the kids or something). I use Compuserve because they have many local phone numbers around the world. (AOL would also be OK). In towns where Compuserve has no number, we use their 800 number which costs $5/hour for long distance charges on top of the $25/hour monthly charge for full-time access to the internet. We also offer to use the phone early or late in the day so as not to interfere with business calls on their phone.
Another option is to find old friends and distant relatives, become reacquainted and use their home phones. Consequently, if a strange Winnebago motorhome parks in front of your home and the smiling Sterlings come knocking on your door, you should know that their friendly visit may also harbor an ulterior motive.
Not having instant access to a reliable and inexpensive phone may be the most important complaint of those of us who enjoy the RV lifestyle. My hope is that our current technology is rapidly relegated to Bruce Sterling’s “dead media” junk heap and is rapidly replaced by some type of affordable satellite communication system. But maybe the technology is already available and I just don’t know about it. Anybody got a better solution? All I wish to do is affordably surf the internet while listening to the loons in some remote Canadian provincial park or when watching for whale spouts in the Mexican Gulf of California.
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