Kansas Last Trip

Kansas Last Trip

 

May 20, 2003

Mary Hunter Hunting Geese with Water Pistol

 

Brother Bruce Sterling invited us to travel with him and sister, Dorothy Cavanaugh to Bartlesville, OK for a visit with Aunt Mary Hunter.  My initial reaction was to find some excuse to avoid traveling with these guys.  Now, don’t get me wrong!  I had a great deal of respect and love for both Dorothy and Bruce.  But, when they were together, they often engaged in intense verbal conflict – not a pleasant prospect if you are forced to listen with no means of escape.  (Interestingly, I can’t really remember what they fought about – likely some continuation of childhood squabbles.)  But, the thought of being cooped up with these two for a few days in an automobile was almost terrifying.

Arleen Sterling added to my concern when she reported that Bruce was having some serious stomach problems and he was becoming forgetful.  Arleen claimed that Bruce had locked his key in the car several times recently and she was not sure that his driving was safe.  “Keep your eye on him,” she suggested.  Her sincerity was clear when she chose not to travel with us.

I asked Pat if she would like to join Bruce and Dorothy for this trip, and she said, “Sure.”  I was hoping that Pat would say something like, “No way!”  So now I was faced with a dilemma: do I agree to take this trip against my better judgment or hope that the squabbles were of a minor, tolerable intensity with no bloodletting?   So, with considerable reluctance, I decided that it might be nice to spend some time visiting with my brother, sister and Aunt Mary.   If we were lucky, the pleasurable experiences might outweigh the traumatic events during the trip.

Bruce and Dorothy Sterling

 

To my utter amazement, Bruce, Dorothy, Pat and I were on our absolute best behavior – not a squabble or even an ill-chosen word.  We enjoyed almost constant interactive conversation during the entire trip to Bartlesville.  It was very interesting and great fun!  We chatted easily about the latest sagas and adventures of our kids, the weather, the scenery, travels, family history and anything else that came to mind.  Dorothy sewed on a quilt while Bruce drove.

   

We had a great visit with Aunt Mary.  We gossiped about family members, watched a video of Ellen and Tony Bonta’s wedding, then moved outside onto her back porch and watched the swan on her pond.  The sun was bright, so Aunt Mary provided funny hats for all of us from her closet.  We all wore gaudy, wide-brimmed, women’s hats.  She explained that the swan was terrorizing the local residents of her apartment complex and would probably have to go.  Various birds came to her feeder and we enjoyed some beautiful weather.  The Canada Geese had been coming to her bird feeder, so it was necessary to avoid stepping in goose poop.  Aunt Mary was somewhat irritated with the geese because of the mess they were making.  We wondered about the best strategy to chase the geese away from the porch.  I thought that maybe a water pistol might work.  A shot of cool water in their faces would surely make them go away.  So I purchased a water pistol at the local Wal-Mart to test the theory.  Aunt Mary shot them over and over, but the geese seemed to enjoy the water spurting from the pistol.  Theory rejected -- geese remained!

Uncle Rex and Aunt Mary Hunter

 

After a very pleasant visit, we began to think about an alternate route to take on our return to Texas.  The thought occurred to me that since we were so close to Kansas, we might take a side trip north to Wichita to visit Pat’s, Aunt Hazel Lister.  I felt almost certain that either Bruce or Dorothy would find some reason to reject this idea.  But, again, to my surprise, they seemed genuinely interested.  So we drove leisurely into Kansas, up through the rolling, scenic Flint Hills, and stopped for donuts and coffee in Augusta, KS.  Of course, this made us think of our Aunt Augusta who had so mysteriously disappeared during a walk in Edinburg, TX.  Bruce had a few less than complimentary stories to tell about her, and Dorothy had a few more positive stories to tell.

This trip took place during a period in Dorothy’s life when she apparently was having some difficulty with her brothers.  She likely questioned our lack of faith and general political conservatism and decided that we must all be “curmudgeons.”  She sent us a book which contained many definitions of the word, “curmudgeon” and provided clear examples of famous curmudgeons.  When we had the temerity to offer an opinion about religion, politics or almost any other subject, we were often told that we were full of s___.  But, on this trip, she was particularly agreeable.  Somehow, on this trip, we were all free to express our varied opinions without challenging the intelligence of the other travelers.  Some sort of attitudinal transformation had taken place.  Likely, never before in our lives had we all been so accepting of the notion that we could disagree without rancor.  Of course, it may be that the opinions causing disagreement were largely left unsaid.

Pat, Dorothy and Bruce at Hazel's

 

Anyway, we had a nice lunch and visit with Pat's Aunt Hazel in her Witchita nursing home and then another excellent trip back to Texas.

Glen and Hazel Lister

 

So, I was wrong!  My instinctive, negative “gut feelings” about this trip had proven wrong so often that I began to wonder if there was any real basis for them.  After all, Bruce and Dorothy obviously had great affection for each other – they and their families have been very close most of their lives.  But, with careful reflection, I could remember fairly recent events when Dorothy and Bruce had intense disagreements.  So, why was it possible that we had such a pleasant and thoroughly enjoyable trip this time?  I can’t say.  If I entertained mystical beliefs, I might think that there was some premonition that they were beginning to see the end of their lives and that we should enjoy each others company while it was still possible.  This trip was taken in 1997 and Bruce died later in 1997 so he may have had some inkling of his future.  But Dorothy died in an automobile accident in 2001 – there is no way any of us could have predicted her early demise.  Maybe we just realized that we really loved each other and decided to be nice – at least for this trip.  At any rate, traveling back through the Flint Hills recently triggered pleasant emotions and fond memories of that trip and I feel compelled to record them here.  

I wish Bruce, Dorothy, Mary, and Hazel were still around so we could do it again.  Oh well!

PS.  Mary died in 2004 and Hazel in 2010.  How many worthy family stories they could have told if I had just asked the right questions and written them down.

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