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Monday, January 1, 2018

Medicine: A Blood Letting


Medicine: A Blood Letting

December 15, 1997

Amphitrite, named after Greek god Poseidon’s wife, quizzed her doctor -- “Do you really think that “letting” some more blood will cure my husband, Parsimines?”  The doctor sat down, placed his head in his hands, faced the floor and shook his head.  Then he raised his head, looked straight into her eyes and said, “I have been your doctor for 20 years and have cured over 15000 patients.  I have a medical degree from Plato’s Academy in Athens and it is a universally accepted practice to let blood to cure illnesses.  What qualifies you to question my professional decisions?  Do you want your husband to get well?  Letting blood is known to be the best treatment for your husband’s condition.”  “But,” she replied, “I read a report claiming that simple rest and drinking plenty of fluid is the best treatment for the cold.  The authors claimed that survival was much greater when patients were treated with rest and fluid than when treated by letting blood.  The authors even suggested that letting blood may increase the number of patients that die.”  “Hogwash!” the doctor interrupted.   “That study you mentioned was conducted by a young bunch of ‘ivory-tower,’ theoretical, wannabe doctors who have very limited experience treating colds in the real world.  As I understand, they are not even members of the Greek Medical Association and none of them serve on the Ethics Committee of which I am the chairman.  For your information, I have treated about 13000 patients with symptoms like your husband’s, and most of them were cured and have lived long and healthy lives.” 

Amphitrite's stubborn streak was still not satisfied --  “But doctor, you have been treating Parsimines for this cold for about a month with weekly blood-lettings.  He seems to grow weaker and weaker.  Don’t you think that maybe he could rest for another week before letting blood again?”  Now the doctor was furious but restrained himself as best he could.  “Amphritite, you just don’t seem to understand.  It would be very risky to attempt any radical new treatments before they are recommended by the Association.  We really know what is best for you and your husband.  I suggest that you find some better way to occupy your time other than reading radical medical literature.”

Amphritite was overwhelmed, and in her gut felt that something was wrong, but had run out of arguments.  She finally agreed with the doctor - who reasoned that if letting a little blood was good, then letting more blood was even better.  Parsimines died almost instantly.  In considerable anguish, Diana again confronted the doctor.  But, the doctor was prepared --  “Diana, it is very unfortunate that Parsimines died - you must accept it as the will of the Gods.  I did my absolute best to make sure that the most modern surgical technique was used to let the blood.  I used a clean knife and the incision into his vein was accomplished with considerable expertise and precision.”  Then assuming the posture, presence, and voice of a confident and authoritative professional, he stated, “His blood was not allowed to run onto the dirty floor as was once fashionable among primitive doctors.  There was really nothing that I could have done to save him - his condition was so poor that it is remarkable that he lived as long as he did.”

Diana was suddenly filled with a great sense of relief.  “Thank goodness,” she reasoned to herself, “just think how bad this experience might have been 50 years ago, before the Greek Association established procedures and helped pass laws to ensure that the “quacks” could no longer practice medicine.”
 

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